oh hello, i'm alan.



That "guy with the camera" - but there's so much more than just that

I'm very much into art. Music, drawing, writing, acting and most of all photography. My misogynistic statements are last ditch efforts to appear endearing, but seemingly my "sense of humor" attracts friends. Who knew? My best attribute is my knack for making things confusing and/or awkward. Sarcasm is like a second language to me, so if I insult you don't take it to heart I'm just messing with you. Sometimes i feel like i'm one of those hopeless romantics, because i loveee all that mush. I'm a pretty emotional guy, but i won't spill that all on you. Sometimes my mind goes in the gutter, but ya know it happens. I like civilized conversation.

I don't want to say I'm magical. But I do ride a unicorn. I think this is all you need to know, but I digress.
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Oh Omegle…..

Connecting to server…
You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
Stranger: DOWN WITH KANYE! GO TAYLOR!!!
You: what is a kanye?
Stranger: kanye west?
Stranger: the rapper!!
Stranger: tah one who hurt talyor swift!!
You: still not entirely sure what you’re talking about, but i have heard of this ‘taylor swift’ wench currently spamming muggle headlines.
You: she really is one downright annoying cunt, and i was thinking of having macnair blast her to bits at one of her teenybopper, sideshow-resembling concerts, but a kanye sounds much more enticing.
You: tell me, what does one have to do to obtain a kanye west?
Stranger: hes famous how can you not know..he hurt taylor swift at the vma’s
You: this instrument wields the power to hurt even the most significant of muggles?
You: this settles it.
You: ACCIO KANYE!
Stranger: ???????????????????????
You: what the—
You: WHAT IS THIS THING?
You: why does it sing so oddly?
You: i fear i have accidentally activated its power upon myself!
You: it has begun to repeat the same awful lyrics in a heavily computerized voice!
You: thank god i am impervious to death.
You: BY GOD THE WEAPON HAS NOW ADORNED RIDICULOUSLY-SHAPED SUNGLASSES THAT REFLECT ALL UNFORGIVABLE CURSES!
You: CALL DOLOHOV! TELL HIM I HAVE AN INCREDIBLY EFFEMINATE BROWN MAN WITH CROP CIRCLES EMBEDDED INTO ITS HAIR AND THAT ITS SONG IS ENOUGH TO DEFEAT THE ENTIRE OPPOSITION AT ONCE!
Stranger: omg.„
You: oh
You: also, tell him to bring ear plugs
You: if i have to listen to one more “how could you be so heartless” i’m feeding it to nagini
Your conversational partner has disconnected.

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